Just not the person I need…

My page on a dating site was blocked and I forgot about it. After that, I did not want to go back because there was an unpleasant story several years ago. We met on the site by chance. There was a chat where people talked about the difficulties of working as a translator. I also joined this conversation because my ex-wife worked as a translator and was always tired because of the computer, meetings, and papers. I also worked hard but her fatigue was unbearable. People answered there that these are the features of such work and one girl wrote that everyone is tired and the type of work is not important here. It was at night and I was bored. I did not even know why I went to this chat, but it was interesting to read the opinions and correspondence of people there.

I live in Tbilisi now. Moved here because of work. But this is temporary and I plan to return home to Oslo. I talked on a dating site not to be lonely because I travel a lot with work and I do not have regular friends. This site helps me find friends and create the illusion of a company of friends. I have a group with selected people from different countries. These are the same lonely people as those who are looking for simple communication as friends. There are not only girls but also guys.

In the chat I met Lisa. She also lived in Oslo and I would be glad to see her when I get home. We talked a lot about family and children. I have a son, but my ex-wife created a new family and I took the child to my parents. Lisa had a friend’s situation - she divorced her husband and he took their son through court. We discussed how difficult it is to live away from children, what happiness they give us. These conversations were very warm and there was a great understanding between us.

When I arrived in Oslo for my son’s birthday, I wrote to Lisa to meet in person. She wrote that she was busy, then talked about difficulties and some other reasons. Then she agreed to go with me to the restaurant. I really looked forward to this meeting and prepared a gift for her that I brought from Georgia. I like to give gifts and this was not a special offer. I just liked the beautiful scarf and I wanted to buy it for Lisa. I waited in the cafe for about 2 hours and thought of different reasons why she did not come. Then I drove home. I was waiting for her letter and wanted to get some explanation but the letter did not come. I wrote to her and asked the reason but she read and was silent. It was a shame and her scarf is still lying on the nightstand.

For a long time I could not forget this situation and I was offended that I did not receive a normal answer. It was unpleasant and I cannot be without an answer. I came up with a plan - I opened a new page and changed the data. I found her profile and wrote her a message on a neutral topic. She answered, asked who I am, where I work, what I do. I work half a day and the other part I am free. I had enough time for this and it was interesting for me. We talked and I told her a fictional story about me.

We talked for a long time and I wanted to inspire confidence in her so that later I could transfer the conversation to the topic I needed. She was completely different, did not talk about difficulties with the child, talked more about her work and plans to open a new office space. Then I translated the conversation about a dating site and did she find someone here. She said that there was a guy who suggested she meet in a restaurant. And she really regrets not coming to him. Some service came to her company and there was a check. They wanted money and found many shortcomings, and this was the threat of closing the office. I asked why she didn’t explain the reason to the guy. Her answer was simple - shame. We talked for another 2 months and then I decided to confess that it was me. She did not answer me and sent to the block. I again went unanswered.

This experience was unpleasant for me because I love accuracy. I should always know all the details and all the reasons. I liked Lisa and I did not understand why she did this. Now I reassure myself that she was a completely different person when communicating with my fake page. Maybe she’s just not the person I need.